An article came across my facebook feed today about how to talk to our daughters about their bodies. I can summarize it in one word: Don’t. The article then proceeded with a message I’ve heard many times now. Don’t tell your daughter she’s fat. Don’t tell your daughter she’s thin. Don’t talk about her thighs or her arms or any other body parts. Don’t talk about your own body or your own body parts. Don’t count calories in front of your daughter. Don’t say anything negative about yourself in front of your daughter.
This article left me uncomfortable. I can get behind that last bit of advice. I don’t say anything bad about my body in front of my daughter. I can reveal right now that I don’t have a secret eating disorder in my past. I am interested in running and other activities as methods of weight control (and for lots of other reasons as well), but my weight has never really been out of control so maybe I have nothing interesting to say on that topic.
I have something to say about body silence though. It turns out I’m against it. I love how running and working out is making my body fitter, stronger, and yes, better looking. I think about those things pretty often and frankly, probably talk about them with my family to the point of boredom. Theirs, not mine because I’m thinking about these things way more often than I’m talking about them. I am figuring out some new things my body can do and I am proud and excited about it. Why wouldn’t I share that with my daughter? She knows I am running farther and faster than ever before. She knows that I come home from the gym sweaty and happy. I think this is good information for her to have.
I even count calories in front of my daughter. If I have forgotten to track my calories and I feel like doing it, I will excuse myself from a meal briefly to type the information into my computer. I am trying to eat more protein most days and more carbs before races and, gasp, my children know this. Once after reading a different version of that same don’t-talk-to-your-daughter article, I asked my girl if she understood why I count calories. She’s quite verbal, but she answered by pumping her little arms and pretending to run. Can it really be “wrong” to teach my daughter that good nutrition helps me do better at an activity that I love? She was able to tell me (correctly) at breakfast this morning which ingredients in her French toast had protein in them. Is that bad information for her to have? I just don’t think so.
This is a great entry and super take on this issue. As the mother of two young girls, I think about this a lot, too. I talk to my girls about how running makes me stronger or how I had a “great, speedy run.” Let’s be honest, I am not that fast, but I think it’s important to have them see that I can be proud of the work my body does and to think about what this might mean for them (even though every single time I come home from a race, they are a little disappointed when they find out I didn’t win!).